Ten Things I Hate About Earth
by Rachel Cabbit
Summary: Curious Bulma quizzes a rather irritated Vegeta about why he dislikes earth so much, and surprise, surprise he has a top ten reasons! Bulma decides to counter with her top ten reasons why he actually likes Earth. *30kisses - theme #10* *oneshot*


**Title of the work: **Ten Things I Hate About Earth  
**Author/Artist:** BuuGirl

**Pairing:** Bulma x Vegeta  
**Fandom:** Dragonball/Z/GT  
**Theme:** #10: #10  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own Dragonball/Z/GT or any of the characters.

"Why are you so grumpy?"

"Because I hate this planet."

"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason, Vegeta. Come on, tell me why."

Bulma sat across the table from the Saiyan prince, watching him eagerly with her blue eyes running them over his face and examining his composure as he sat under fire with her questions.

He glared back at her with his stony dark eyes, muscled arms folded defiantly, lips sealed into a scowl, impatiently waiting for her to leave and fix his training equipment.

"Come on 'Geta.." she said playfully, "Why is Earth such a bad place to live?"

Under her deep blue gaze he found his lips loosening. His mouth opened but no words came out. Immediately he shut it again.

"'Geta?" she asked again, more playfully, a hint of begging in her tone. She pouted her pink lips seductively.

"Fine." Vegeta said, closing his eyes to avoid that look in her eye. "Reason Number Ten: the food is terrible. I've never known such a pathetic range of meats, severely lacking in taste and quality."

Bulma blinked, a faint smirk tugging at her lips.

"You have a top ten reasons why you hate Earth?" she repeated amused.

He glared.

"Ok, ok. Do continue."

He stared at her.

"If I tell you, you'd better get your ass back into that training room and fix my machine." He warned.

"Deal." Bulma bargained.

Once again he closed his eyes, drawing in breath and readying himself for her annoying staring.

"Number Nine: the people are moronic weaklings."

Bulma leaned on the table, her head resting on her hand, staring intently.

"Number Eight: the technology is pathetic." He looked to see her reaction. Her eyes narrowed in annoyance for a moment but she remained silent and listened as he continued. "The most advanced technology you have was copied from what I brought here on my first arrival." She raised her eyebrows and he was sure she was going to counter argue but to his disappointment she said nothing, Giving up, he continued.

"Number Seven: There is not enough fighting. It ties in pretty much with your planet being inhabited by moronic weaklings since without constant fighting there is no chance of improving your battle skills. On the Planet Vegeta there was always brawling going on. Your planet is too filled with laws and rules on fighting. It is just influencing weakness."

Bulma continued to stare without a word. Vegeta was feeling quite intimidated, though he would never admit it aloud.

"Six: Your people are gullible. If they feel the urge to buy something because of a television advert, or believe in stupid things like "Santa Claus" and believe lies spread by the higher-ups and so on then they are not worth acknowledging. They are ridiculous and I find it annoying."

Bulma smiled at this, but said nothing.

"Speaking of television, Reason Number Five: The so called entertainment is awful. It is tediously boring, created for insipid, weak and stupid people. Anything remotely entertaining like violence is disallowed or edited. It's ridiculous!"

"Number Four: I am not respected or feared on this planet. Back on Planet Vegeta and even while I worked for Frieza, I had the respect of many warriors and was feared for my awesome power!"

Bulma poorly stifled a giggle at his comment. He glared at her again but continued.

"Three: There are NO decent women." He stressed , glaring purposely at her. She seemed a little offended but masked it. "They are all either too fat or too thin, with no features that would make them suitable to even be my concubines let alone a mate. It's quite sickening really." He paused a second to see if she would argue but she didn't. She just looked at him, a smile playing about her lips, teasing him.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Reason Number Two: Kakarot was raised here. My rivalry and hatred for that pathetic excuse for a Saiyan means I cannot think of this place without being reminded of him and how he…" Vegeta growled, anger filling up inside him rendering him unable to complete his sentence. Bulma finished it for him.

"How he is stronger than you." She added smugly. He glared again, his eyes burning almost. She appeared unmoved though, continuing to sit and smirk.

The anger dissipated and he decided to conclude his list.

"My Number One reason for hating Earth is…" He glared at her intensely as he spoke. "Because you live here."

Bulma's eyes widened momentarily but she began to smile. She then proceeded to laugh. Not understanding what was so funny Vegeta sat in silence.

"'Geta, may I just say that those excuses are pretty pathetic." She gave him a look filled with amusement, her eyes sparkling mischievously. He asked her why she thought that, gruffly and a little offended.

"Because," she said matter-of-factly, "they were all based on a lie"

He stared at her blankly, not understanding why she had thought that.

"You actually like Earth. Allow me to counter your list. Reason Ten: You love the food, hence the reason you always bug me and my mother and you eat every last crumb we make.

Reason Nine: You love laughing at people's stupidity. It makes you feel more intelligent to find folly in what others say.

Reason Eight: You need the training equipment. Without the innovations my father and me make in your sparring bots, power readers and, of course, the gravity room, you would be unable to improve your skills. You even enjoy using the equipment, or rather, using your power to break the equipment." She shot him a knowing look which confused Vegeta further.

"Reason Seven: Without Earth's people being so weak and not constantly fighting it not only allows you to train without being beaten (except by Goku)" she added in a lower tone, " But it also makes you appreciate fighting when you see it. You pay closer attention and find faults and strengths, improving your own analytical skills and at the same time, your own fighting skills."

He thought about this point, realising what she meant by it and discovering it held at least some truth in it. He stayed silent though and let her continue.

"Reason Six: You like to trick people and laugh at them. You find gullible people amusing and without them you would almost be bored. Which leads onto Reason Five: you like the entertainment. There has been many an occasion I've walked in on you watching soap opera marathons and shouting at chat shows." She smirked at him, and he denied it, though the look of panic in his eye at his secret being found out was enough to make her believe she'd hit the nail on the head.

"Reason Four: You lied about not being feared at least. Give an Earthling a display of that strength of yours and they'd run a mile - and you like to scare people.

Reason Three: you lied again. There are plenty of decent women on Earth, I mean, I'm one of them obviously but your downfall comes in the shape of a computer, since I've seen the internet history on your PC account." She looked him straight in the eye. "You at least enjoy the women on those porn sites…" She teased. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks but disappeared almost as soon as it appeared.

"Fine, I'll admit I visit those sites, but it does not mean that I enjoy them or find the women in any way appealing. It is merely… research." He said, turning his gaze away from Bulma. She laughed and let the subject drop.

"On to your little problem with Goku… Reason Two: You find it useful to see how Goku became so strong. You'll have to admit that the reason Goku is so powerful comes from his learning the more peaceful ways of this planet and not from constant fighting and grumpiness." She smiled once more, and Vegeta turned back to face her.

"And finally, my argument to counter your number One reason for disliking Earth so much is that it is _because_ I live here that you _like_ to stay here."

Vegeta laughed.

"That was rather arrogant of you to assume so."

Bulma stood up from her chair and stretched.

"You aren't denying it, 'Geta." She said teasingly. "That proves that you don't hate me as much as you say you do." She walked around to the other side of the table, standing behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. She bent closer and whispered into his ear,

"Reason Number One: You like me."

With that she placed a kiss on his cheek and headed off to fix his training equipment.

**End**


End file.
